after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
