PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
