Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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