bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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