sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
