Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
