Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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