It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
