ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
