Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
