its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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