New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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