Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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