Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
