I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
