I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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