I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
