Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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