i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
