I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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