I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
