ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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