I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
