Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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