piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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