No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
