meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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