I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
