Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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