Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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