She said her name was "party"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
