I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she told me i tasted like america
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
