So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
