Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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