after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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