It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
