so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
