I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
