How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize