Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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