very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
