So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you win again, gameday.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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