it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
