bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
