yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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