I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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