We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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