Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
