i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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