Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
