I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
