the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
