well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
