You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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