lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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