if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
