You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
