so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
