fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
