Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
