I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After tacos, we're chasing women.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
