I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
