I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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