We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
